Look… Sometimes, I have to deal with creepy people. I don’t mention them because you guys aren’t here for my personal life, you’re here for art. But the other party involved in this complication is starting to get very vocal about our interactions, so I’m posting about it here to keep the record straight, and to defend myself should anyone end up here because of his postings on the matter. For the moment I will not be providing his username because I’m trying to take the high road and not, by saying all of this, unintentionally encourage any well-meaning people to harass him.
My interactions with this individual started off okay, but gradually became less and less so as he began to push for a collab. As all of you can see from my gallery, I don’t often do collabs with people, and I tried gently explaining this to him, but he was extremely reluctant to back down. This individual is trying to spin the situation so that it sounds like this event is the cause of later precautions I have been forced to take, and while it is a factor, it is not the main problem and he knows it.
The main problem is that he is a creep. Like woah, guys.
He had contacted me before things started going south with the collab, asking me if he could have permission to include my character in a piece, saying that “I'll guarantee you it will be a nice surprise!”
However, I had to discover by myself that what he neglected to mention when asking for permission was that the piece he wanted to have done would include a third party I didn’t know at all, and, given his faves and such here and on another site he had contacted me on, would have been fetishist in nature. Now, please allow me to make a couple of things very clear: One, as far as I’m concerned, so long as no one gets hurt, people can like whatever they want; I don’t care what gives people their jollies. And two, the third party he had tried to get involved is in no way whatsoever responsible for what occurred. That gentleman was a very talented and generous individual who was kind, courteous and professional in the situation. While his work is not sexual in nature, it very likely would have been so in the eyes of the individual I have been dealing with. The artwork this individual tried to get done was never intended to be a nice thing for me; it was for his own enjoyment. Trying to involve not just any character of mine, but my personal avatar in something he could get sexual gratification from isn’t just creepy, it’s disrespectful!
I stepped in and requested to be omitted from said work. This individual responded to the rejection by saying he’d get a more general picture done, to which I told him that it wasn’t necessary, and I also told him that I didn’t want to get to know him even though he was pushing for us to get to know one another. (I mean, do I really need to explain why I wasn’t feeling comfortable here?)
He had a piece done anyway and linked me to the artist’s posting of the work done, he apologized for his behavior, and that was fine. The work itself was completely innocuous, and the artist he had hired was very talented and sweet.
Things only got creepy when I ended up discussing it with a friend, and in doing so, she spotted the same piece posted on a separate gallery of his. However, the text was different, reading thus: “Nashoba and me met some time ago and wanted to know each other better. So, when I discovered she was a werewolf like me, I invited her to take a glass of cold tea under the full moon. The date went well! ” This was after I had stated that I didn’t think I wanted to know him better, and by calling it a date, put the piece in a romantic context. Since we weren’t even friends, I had specifically said that I didn’t think I wanted to get to know him better (and yet here he was acting like I had said the opposite), and in the context of the previous events, this made things even creepier.
I asked him to change the text so that no one else would get the wrong ideas (which, to his credit, he did), and ended it with “Please. Stop. Just stop. I have enough problems in my life, and I don’t need another one.”
Soon after, this individual began contacting me again, with earnest. I had already told him that I did not want to know him, and asked him to stop, and yet, he kept at it. I tried just not responding. I hoped that if I didn’t reply, that he would lose interest and leave me in peace.
But then he had to go to my font page and write nonsense like this “Where are you, Nashoba ? I miss you so much.... Are you still angry with me ?” (The post is hidden, by the way. Thank you DA!) I’ve posted multiple things since I last spoke to him; he can tell I’m active and around. There is no reason to “Miss” someone he barely even knows, and who isn’t even absent! He could have contacted me discreetly through a note, but nope, he had to go and slap that right on my front page. It was clear that trying to quietly distance myself from him by not responding to him wasn’t going to work, so, I blocked him. I have been here for eleven years and this is only the fifth person I’ve blocked, he has been that creepy. I hoped that would be the end of this whole mess, since, well, IF SOMEONE BLOCKS YOU, IT MEANS THEY DON’T WISH TO SPEAK WITH YOU. This isn’t difficult to understand.
However, in spite of this, he knowingly and intentionally disregarded what I clearly wished and INSISTED on finding another way to contact me. He got a kind-hearted friend of his involved in this drama, and had him contact me on his behalf, because now he has started posting about this mess in his journal, spinning things so that his creepy behavior is completely omitted, and painting himself as a sympathetic character, along with statements regarding my blocking of him with “Nashoba, please, I've already paid enough for my fault!” when he’s paid nothing, and also acting like I owe him my attention, when, I could spend my limited time on people like my non-creepy commenters, who are awesome.
He has asked that I reply to his journal as "One last favor." and I have, meaning that I had to temporarily un-block him. Because of DA's Blocking system, this means that I cannot re-block him for 48 hours. This has gone on for weeks, and I have warned him that if it continues any farther, and contacts me again I will be contacting DA administration.
If, somehow, you, dear reader, have gotten through all of this, I commend your attention span and tolerance for drama. However, I am posting this mainly as a means to defend myself. If you somehow work out who this is, please, for the moment, refrain from contacting him, as this has been enough drama. Thank you for your time, and I hope that life is less stressful for you than for me.
Edit: He contacted me during the 48 hour period. Steps have been taken; he is now reblocked, and life is good.